Monday, August 1, 2011

My Knobs: A History

You don't really hear about tailors getting bunions nowadays. But apparently in the past, tailors didn't have chairs or tables and did their hand stitching hunched over their crossed legs, and got bunions from doing so. Well at least enough of them did to warrant naming the little toe bunion after them. I'd like to say that is how I got my tailor's bunions, but I am not a tailor (though I'd love to apprentice with one to learn how it is really done), and even if I was, I am pretty sure I would employ the ol' table and chair. But nope, my knobs probably came from my mom. We have a very similar bone structure in our feet, fortunately for her she didn't develop bunions, unfortunately for me I did.

But lets start at the beginning. They started bothering me when I was 15. I was on this stupid dance team that I regretting trying out for, and we had to wear these stupid shoes that were extremely narrow. And those bastards were what started this whole thing! I started feeling sharp pain in the area that I would later call my knobs when wearing those shoes. I went to the doctor, he took x-rays and diagnosed me with tailor's bunions (or bunionettes as they are also called). He told me it is a genetic foot deformity that can get irritated and worsen by wearing narrow shoes. I finished the rest of the year on that dance team, and those shoes, and as soon as that was over, and those shoes were off, my feet felt fine. So all was good.

Then about 5 years ago they started bothering me off and on again, when I wore heels, or when I wore Converse shoes, which were pretty narrow. Then they just eventually got really bad. I kept trying to change my shoes: buying wider widths, trying different brands, but my knobs just kept getting bigger and redder and more painful. I finally settled on PF Flyers which worked out great for a few years, but they, as with all my other shoe trials, just couldn't handle these knobs. All this time I had been trying to deal with these things conservatively, because I didn't have health insurance and couldn't pay for surgery anyway. Then late 2010 that health care bill passed and I could get back on my parents insurance till I was 26! The first thing I thought was, "Holy shit, I could get my knobs chopped off!"

So long bunions! You are going to be replaced with ugly scars. But chicks dig scars so that's fine.


Anyway, once I got that insurance card, I booked an appointment in February to get my knobs checked out. And well, I have tailor's bunions, which I had known, but I've developed regular bunions as well. Which I was afraid of because by left big toe joint was starting to become painful as well. Jesus, 4 knobs. Here are my x-rays:


There are my little feet bones. Those poor metatarsals are all out of line, but you can see that the toes still like to hang out together because the outside toes are trying to cram there way back in. Especially my little pinky toes, which are now causing corns to develop on my 4th little piggies. That 5th little piggy always was a jerk, crying wee wee wee all the way home. And the 4th little piggy got no roast beef? That is bullshit! (Well . . . at least in my case he got some corn. ha.ha.)

Enough about piggies. I had a problem: I had to get surgery on all 4 of these things, but I would have to take off 2 months of work because I work at a coffee shop and spend an 8 hour shift on my feet. I could save enough money by August to take off these two months (all of September and October), but I wouldn't be able to save enough money to do this again before I turn 26 and become insurance-less once again, which is in December. So I am taking care of all these at once, because I don't have the time or money to do one foot at a time.

I've heard good and bad stories about doing both feet at one time, but since I don't have a choice I am going to remain positive that it'll be no big deal to have no feet for a few weeks. I live with my friend and boyfriend so I'll have plenty of help around the house. Yeah, I'm not worried.

1 comment:

  1. Hi, thank you for sharing your story. I've always had foot problems with the bone by my little toes and recently discovered that I have tailors bunions. I'm considering surgery but as it is very expensive and invasive I'd like to know how your experience with the surgery was if you don't mind. Most of all, was it worth it to you to have the surgery? Do you still have pain or did it fix everything? Were there any side effects from the surgery that you didn't expect? Thanks and I hope your feet are doing well :)

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